The Water Quota
by Fire0770
Summary: A collection of letters letters between Aizen, Gin, Tosen and The Espada. When you are living in the middle of a desert, water is the last thing you would expect to see. In order to compensate for this, the inhabitants of Las Noches have to take it in turns to go on daily water runs. Unfortunately, Aizen didn't anticipate just how incompetent his arrancar can be...
1. Chapter 1

Dear all subordinates,

Starting now, all persons residing in Las Noches are required to take turns collecting water. Failure to comply will result in punishment. The severity of the punishment depends on how many times you have missed your turn. If you get 10 or more strikes on your name, an indescribable horror will be unleashed upon you.

The quota will go as follows:

Espada 1-10 (in ascending order) will go first, followed by the Numeros and Privaron Espada (also in ascending order).

Once all of the arrancar have collected water, Kaname will go next, followed by Gin.

When everyone has gone once, repeat.

Your lord,

Aizen

P.S If I haven't had any tea for more than two days, _all_ inhabitants of Las Noches will be at the mercy of the indescribable horror.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Aizen-_sama_,

This is _outrageous! _Why should the likes of me have to bother myself over menial tasks such as water runs? It is preposterous!

_True _ruler of Hueco Mundo,

Barragan Luisenbarn


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Barragan, _Segunda Espada,_

Please tone down your arrogance while speaking to me, it's almost as dense as you are.

Also, on a related note, 3 strikes have been added to your name. I'll list the reasons:

1 - In case you haven't noticed, I'm the one making the orders, and you're the one following them.

2 - You've openly admitted that you're not going to go on your water run. This is an instant strike.

3 - You're my least favourite Espada. Yes, I like Aaroneiro better than you.

_Your lord,_

Aizen


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Starrk,

It's my first day living permanently in Las Noches, and I arrive to not being able to flush my toilet. In fact, there wasn't any water in the toilet at all. After visiting the room where all the water is stored and shared out throughout the establishment, I discovered that _someone _forgot go get water.

Also, I believe Gin wants to 'speak' to you about him not getting his shower.

Your lord,

Aizen


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Gin-sama,

I am extremely sorry! I promise I will never miss water duty again! Just _please_ don't beat me awake with the shower pipe again!

Unhappy and miserable and covered in bruises,

Starrk

P.S: Can you also stop encouraging Lillinette to beat me awake with a shower pipe when you're not around to do it?


	6. Chapter 6

To all arrancar (excluding Halibel),

No, I will not be asking Halibel to create some water so you all can slack off and do nothing all day. I gave you a job, I expect you to do it (and with utmost efficiency, remember, you have to be up at 1am in order to get all the water in time for my awakening. If you are unable to collect the necessary amount of water before 5am, a strike will be added to your name).

Your lord,

Aizen

P.S: Halibel isn't made of water, you know, she has to get it from _somewhere._


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Starrk Coyote-sama,

Thanks to the medical arrancar, we have been able to make a report on your injuries. They are as follows:

One broken rib,

Several large bruises (they aren't anything serious, but you may experience intense pain while lying down, so it is best if you stay awake for as long as possible)

A broken foot,

And a black eye.

From,

Captain of the Medical Unit of Las Noches

P.S: I hope these injuries do not interfere with your usual daily routine.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Starrk,

I received the report on your injuries. You have my condolences. I am sorry you had to lose out on your 23 hours of sleep.

Your lord,

Aizen


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Aizen-sama,

I can get strikes too? If so, what will the 'indescribable horror' be if I get 10 or more? I can't horrify myself.

Love,

Gin


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Gin,

There is no need to worry. I saw this issue coming, and have already resolved it. You will also receive an 'indescribable horror' if it comes to that point.

Your lord,

Aizen

P.S: There actually _is_ need for worry. Be very, very worried.


	11. Chapter 11

To all subordinates,

Thanks to the incompetence of Starrk Coyote, Primera Espada and Barragan Luisenbarn, Segunda Espada, we have been without any water for two days. As a result, we have nothing for showers, toilets and taps. I also haven't been able to have my tea in two days.

This kind of behaviour is atrocious. The quota has only been active for two days and there has already been two mistakes. Both were caused by sheer laziness and/or arrogance. Hopefully Tier Halibel will do a better job.

Due to recent events, I am forced to release the 'indescribable horror' as punishment for their actions. He will have complete reign over what your punishment will be like, and can be as creative as he desires.

Your lord,

Aizen


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Aizen-_sama_,

I, Barragan Luisenbarn, _true _king of Hueco Mundo, demand you call off Ichimaru-_sama. _He has blown a hole in my wall, thrown my bed off my porch and has began constantly singing just outside my room door.

My fraccion's ears are bleeding, I have resorted to taking a lower ranking subordinates' bed just so I can sleep (not that it even helps; the bed is so poor that I may aswell sleep on a rock).

Sort this commotion out,

Barragan Luisenbarn

P.S: In case you haven't picked it up already, Gin's 'singing' sounds more like him screeching at the top of his lungs.

P.P.S: How much longer do we have to be terrorised for? It's been two days. Halibel and Ulquiorra have both succeeded in bringing in the water. I do not see the problem.


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Barragan, _Segunda Espada_,

I understand that Gin is causing you pain. However, I am regretful to inform you that the punishment will be lasting for another 5 days.

You must remember that you (and Starrk) brought this upon yourself, and therefore, there will be no mercy.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I didn't tell Gin to target you and Starrk specifically.

P.P.S: I am not using reverse psychology to confuse you.

P.P.P.S: I am winding you up on purpose (note that I am still using reverse psychology...).

P.P.P.P.S: I am not writing more 'P.S's' just to waste your time.

P.P.P.P.P.S: I am still using reverse psychology...

P.P.P.P.P.P.S: If I find out that you stopped reading this letter after the 4th 'P.S', I will add 2 strikes to your name.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: In order for me to tell if you stopped reading... come to the Throne Room tomorrow at noon.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: And you cannot tell me you didn't come because there is no noon in Hueco Mundo. You _do_ have a clock.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: This one is for good luck... for if you fail to come, you will be two steps closer to extra suffering. What Gin is doing to you right now is only the beginning...


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So I decided to write an omake based upon what Gin is doing in Las Noches at the moment...**

"Oh Starrk-kun~!" A cheerful person sing-songed, his voice echoing in throughout the white halls of Las Noches. The man had silver-coloured hair, and was clad in white shihakusho-like robes. In his hands was a slightly dented shower pipe, it's shape clear evidence that it had already been wielded as a weapon before.

A sardonic grin stretched across the man's face, which only continued to get wider as he searched the hallways of the fortress.

Despite the racket Ichimaru Gin was making, his target still had not awoken from his - somewhat painful - slumber.

Unbeknownst to the Primera Espada, Gin quietly creeped into his room, and continued to creep until he was standing directly above the unsuspecting arrancar.

Just as Ichimaru raised the shower pipe over his head, Lillinette entered the room. When she saw that Starrk was in danger of getting beaten by the 'indescribable horror', she let out a scream of victory, and charged the intruder.

"_Ahhhhhh!" _Gin screeched, when Lillinette rugby tackled him to the ground, and proceeded to have a wrestling match with him in an effort to make him relinquish his grip on the shower pipe.

After a bout of tugging, Lillinette finally managed to steal the pipe from Gin. However, she was thrown backwards as a consequence, and fell directly on top of Starrk, while accidentally poking him with the sharp horn of her mask fragment.

_"Ahhhhhh!" _The Primera yelled in shock. He bolted upright, and rubbed the sore spot where he had been jabbed. Unfortunately, it had been one of his bruises from two days ago, so when the pain kicked in, it kicked in two-fold.

"Damn it, Gin! Get out!" Lillinette ordered, kicking him in the backside as she did so for extra emphasis.

Fearing what the small fraccion would do when angry, Gin did as he was told, and sprinted through the door, not even bothering to reclaim his shower pipe.


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Gin,

I understand that what you did is somewhat hilarious, but I must warn you not to make a habit of it. You see; as funny as 'telling Poww to release his resurreccion inside of Barragan's room, then pushing said released arrancar off the edge of his balcony with Shinso' may have been, it is very hard to drag a person of his size back into Las Noches. It may have been easier to retrieve him if he was still able to use his legs, but unfortunately, that was not the case.

After a day of unfruitful pushing, the medical unit just decided to knock him out and wait for his resurreccion to deactivate.

Please avoid causing such situations again, or at the very least, avoid pushing a released Poww - of all people - off the balcony.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: Knowing you, you probably recorded everything you did. I would like the recording in my monitoring room at noon tomorrow.


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Nnoitra,

I would appreciate it if you told me why my shower water is... dark red. And why it smells so... acrid...

What did you do while you were returning with the water? Was there a... mix up?

I'm rather disgusted.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I'm not he only one who is disgusted, it seems Gin would like a word with you. And Tousen. And the rest of the Espada.

P.P.S: Good luck.


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Aizen-sama,

As requested, I have made a report on the punishment of Nnoitra Gilga. He will not be able to leave the medical ward for another few days at best.

I had arrived to the Quinto Espada's room much earlier than everyone else, to ensure that I saw everything that occurred.

Szayelaporro was furious. He had arrived first, and had screamed something along the lines of 'You have ruined my perfect image!' and had proceeded to bat Nnoitra with his fraccion.

Grimmjow came next, via a hole he had blown in his wall. He had shoved Szayelaporro out of the way, and had punched Nnoitra numerous times, saying that 'He had had the worst glass of water ever'.

Halibel told Nnoitra that she needed the water to practise with her release, and that her training room was full of disgusting, dank water. After a firm reprimanding and some angry glares that terrified the normally arrogant Quinto, she kicked him on the shin and walked out.

Barragan had sent his fraccion to do something similar to what Halibel did, but without the glaring or reprimanding.

Ichimaru-sama arrived next, and had shoved every other person out of the room, apart from me, after I told him that I was writing a report. He did far too much to be described in one letter, so I will simply say that he attacked Nnoitra, and it involved a shower pipe.

After a very long time had passed, Ichimaru-sama finally left, and Tousen took the opening to walk in and give a nearly-unconscious Quinto Espada a long-winded lecture on 'justice', and how 'harming everyone he walks across is _not_ justice'.

I hope this report is detailed enough,

Ulquiorra Schiffer


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'll be adding a day counter at the top of letters after this one, so it is easier to keep track. It will also say whose turn it is.**

**Day 5 - Nnoitra Gilga**

Dear Grimmjow,

Due to recent occurrences, I am forced to tell what you _must not do _when on water duty, as it seems that others before you are incapable of doing so without messing it up somehow.

You cannot sleep past 1am. Any further, and you will not be able to get the water back in time for my awakening (you may not know this, but I wake up first. At 5am).

You must not skip water duty due to some unforeseen pride. That is not an excuse.

You must not drink any of the water before you return. I do not want your germs in it. You never know who back-washes.

You must not engage with anyone near the water, for this may cause a 'mix-up'.

You must not release your resurreccion near the water, in case you accidentally blow all of it away.

You cannot collect whatever liquid you find sitting around. Just because it makes you wet when you step in it _does not _guarantee that it is indeed fresh water.

Failure to comply with rules will result in a strike, one for every offence.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Double chapter!**

**Day 6 - Grimmjow Jaegerjaques**

Grimmjow,

How? Even after I _warned you _on what you shouldn't do, you still manage to _do something wrong._

Do you even realise how badly you've messed up? I don't even know how you managed to get such large quantities if this stuff, but I can easily tell you that _this is not water._

I'll call off Gin, Tousen and the Espada. You don't need to worry about them.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I WILL END YOU!


	20. Chapter 20

**Day 6 - Grimmjow Jaegerjaques**

Dear Grimm-chan,

I reckon Aizen-sama's really angry at you.

You probably don't know why. I'll tell you why.

No one outside me and Tousen know this, but one fun fact about Aizen-sama is that he gets really short-tempered when he hasn't had tea in a while.

Just to make a terrifying situation _more _scary, you _really _don't want to see what he's like when that anger is directed at you. I'm talking through personal experience.

When his old division had run out of water for a couple days, everyone avoided him, because they all knew Aizen-sama enough to stay away when he hasn't had tea in a while. Unfortunately, I didn't know that.

All I did was say 'Hey' and he tossed me out of window and shot a 'Hado #4: Byakurai' at my face. I barely got out of the way in time.

So yeah. Just thought you wanted to know.

Love,

Gin

**A/N: So yeah. Soon you'll get see what effect Aizen's anger has on his Espada. Poor Grimmjow.**

**Also, I'd like to thank all the people who are following my story so far. You guys are awesome. XD**


	21. Chapter 21

**Day 6 - Grimmjow Jaegerjaques**

Dear Ichimaru-sama,

You were right. Aizen-sama is scary when he's angry. I'm lucky I got out alive.

He threw everything he could find at me. My bed, my table, _my toilet, my sink. _Heck, he even threw a chunk of wall at me.

The sink broke my arm. Luckily, it was my left arm, so I can still do things while it recovers.

I nearly tried to fight back, before remembering:

1. I'm not powerful enough to stop him.

2. He's my superior, so I can't fight back even if I had the power to do so.

3. Retaliation probably would have made him angrier.

So I had to take the brunt of everything he threw at me.

He was screaming stuff like 'Disgusting tea', 'Urine (whatever that word means) not looking anything like water', 'Espada not knowing how to get water' and 'Worst shower ever'.

The fact he was _screaming _scared me even more. I've never heard him raise his voice before.

I'm lucky I didn't get any severe injuries.

Still shaking,

Grimmjow

P.S: Please tell everyone that I won't be leaving my room for a while. I need to calm myself after that.


	22. Chapter 22

**Day 6 - Grimmjow Jaegerjaques**

To all subordinates,

It has come to light recently that certain arrancar are incapable of performing correctly. Before I come to that, here is all strikes so far:

**Starrk Coyote - 1 Strike**

**Barragan Luisenbarn - 4 Strikes**

**Nnoitra Gilga - 5 Strikes (due to extreme failure)**

**Grimmjow Jaegerjaques - 5 Strikes (due to extreme failure)**

Moving on, I feel the need to inform you that water doesn't come from some kind of underground sewage system. If you get the water from there, then there will be _severe consequences. _

The next thing I need to tell is: if the water comes back severely contaminated, I will personally punish you. It is disgusting. Really, really disgusting.

Also, _it hasn't even been a week yet. _For the Espada - of all people - to be failing so magnificently, I can safely say that you arrancar must have some kind of mental disability. One that prevents you from being good at things. I didn't even know that such a thing could exist in an army I so painstakingly assembled, but apparently my subordinates are bigger idiots than I thought.

Of course, there are those few exceptions, such as the Tercera and Cuatro Espada.

I feel the need to stress that I need tea to help keep calm. However, even _I _will admit that my behaviour can get rather ravenous when I haven't had the stuff for days. So be warned, arrancar.

Your (rather frustrated) Lord,

Aizen


	23. Chapter 23

**Day 7 - Zommari Rureaux (A/N: I hope I spelt that right. Arrancar names confuse me...)**

Dear Zommari,

I am surprised. How did you get the water here so quickly? Usually it takes a couple trips in order to collect all the water because there is just too much of it. It would have taken at least 3 hours to get it all here, even for the most efficient of arrancar. It took you 1 hour...

I don't like this. Justice demands I see into what you did. If you did what I think you did, then I will report this to Aizen-sama.

Justice calls,

Tousen Kaname

P.S: So no, Zommari, slave labour isn't the answer. I have a hunch that this is indeed what you did...

**A/N: I noticed I actually hadn't done a Tousen letter yet, so I made this one a Tousen letter. It was originally meant to be from Aizen, but I actually think it works better this way XD**


	24. Chapter 24

**Day 7 - Zommari Rureaux**

dear zommari,

o. mi. god.

siriusly? what id evr do to u?

it wasnt evn mi go yet.

i'm teling ulqiora abowt u. u'll be in big truble ven.

so angry rite now,

yamy

**A/N: I am not responsible for any loss of eyesight that may accompany reading this letter...**


	25. Chapter 25

**Day 7 - Zommari Rureaux**

Dear Yammy,

I do not understand why you are bringing this situation to me. It is not my place to punish a fellow member of the Espada.

Also, please learn proper literature. Your spelling is so terrible I want to gouge my eyes out. Unfortunately for me, even if I did go through such extreme measures just to avoid seeing another of your letters, it would ultimately be ineffective, as my regeneration would simply create a new pair of eyes.

I truly hope you do not send a letter to Aizen-sama in the near future. It would be terrible for him to be exposed to the atrocity that is your literature.

Ulquiorra Schiffer


	26. Chapter 26

**Day 7 - Zommari Rureaux**

dear aisen-sama,

zomre forsed me to do his wurk for him.

it wosnt evn mi turn yet. not fair!

can u sort of tel him of or sumthing becawse it isnt fair and it wasnt mi turn evr. i had to drag that wartur for ower. i hav a bak ake now becawse of it.

pleese do sumthing

yamy


	27. Chapter 27

**Day 7 - Zommari Rureaux**

Dear Yammy,

Please stop sending me letters. For every word you spell wrong, another part of my intelligence deteriorates.

The issue with Zommari (it's not 'zomre', Yammy) is yours to deal with. I have no problem with what he did, for it meant he got the water back exceptionally quickly.

However, I believe Tousen wishes to punish Zommari. I've told him that if he wishes so, then he may.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I'm going to send Ulquiorra to you. If anyone can teach you how to write properly, it's him.


	28. Chapter 28

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Szayelaporro Granz,

Colour me impressed, you brought back the water exceptionally quickly.

Speaking of colours, I was very unhappy to find that my shower water is... black?

Even worse, I now have a stark naked clone of myself following me around.

You've _got _to be kidding me.

Your Lord,

Aizen

Qhvisnfocnwocnwlcnen

P.S: GOD DAMN IT, IT'S TRYING TO WRITE ON MY LETTER. FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.


	29. Chapter 29

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Aizen-sama,

Um... you know, there's a reason why I have to deactivate my clones _before _leaving resurreccion...

Heh heh...

Szayelaporro Granz

P.S: Yeah... problem is: I _can't _deactivate them after I've left resurreccion...


	30. Chapter 30

Szayel,

...What.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Aizen-sama,

DX

In pain,

Gin


	32. Chapter 32

Gin,

Did you actually just send me one of those strange faces from the World of the Living?

We don't use those here. Ever.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: Why _did _you send me that, anyway?


	33. Chapter 33

Aizen-sama,

What did I ever do to deserve getting kicked in the face by you while you ran around the hallways naked? The arrancar are starting to think you've gone insane...

Ugh...

Gin


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: I literally just posted three chapters... now I'm posting two more! Because... why not!?**

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Gin,

That... was not me. That's a clone Szayel accidentally made when he got his weird disgusting gunk stuff in my shower water.

Wait... why hasn't anyone else had any clones yet?

Your (suspicious) Lord,

Aizen


	35. Chapter 35 Aizen feels it slipping

**A/N: I've been dying to write the recent letters as an omake for a while now...**

**Omake title: Aizen feels it slipping...**

"Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai..." A distant voice continued chanting, like a broken record.

Gin turned around and stared, his eyes wide open, as oppose to his usual squint, 'No... _no! _Keep that _thing _away from me!'

"Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai..." It continued, although it sounded close than before, causing Gin to flip around and sprint down the hallway, forgetting he could even use shunpo due to his fear.

He broke into a cold sweat. Despite the fact he was running away from it, it was still approaching dangerously quickly.

Just as he tilted his head back to look behind him, the _thing _was in his face.

"_BANZAI~!" _It's unexpectedly deep voice shouted, as it leaped on top of Gin.

"_Get it off!" _Gin screamed to no one, wanting to keep far away from Aizen-sama's clone.

He gagged in pain as the _thing _started jumping on his stomach. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow..."

Aizen heard Gin's desperate shout, and rounded a corner, to see the clone of himself jumping up and down on the poor man as he screamed "Banzai!" at the top of his lungs.

Aizen twitched. 'Can I ever have a peaceful day in Las Noches? It feels like leaving Soul Society was a mistake on my account. However, not even I could predict something so horrifyingly disgusting as watching a naked version of myself jump on one of my subordinates.' He felt like he wanted to just melt away right there and then. He's never going to hear the end of this from the arrancar.

After watching for a few more seconds, he decided to step in. He grabbed the annoying _thing's _arm, and tugged it away from Gin.

"What're yo thin' yo doin', yo?" It asked, and Aizen finally snapped.

"_SZZZZAAAAYYYYEEEELLLLLL!"_

Szayelaporro Granz froze, mid-experimemt, and meekly turned his head to the door as he heard Aizen's furious shout. The man wasn't even this angry with Grimmjow...

He gulped, and solemnly awaited the inevitable.


	36. Chapter 36

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Gin,

I always win. Even though I know I have an embarrassingly naked clone of myself destroying Las Noches from the inside, I also know that he's torturing those _who thought it was funny to tell Szayel to contaminate my water supply with that clone goo._

Also, on a related note, the new indescribable horror is my clone, not you. And I'm about to make a major adaptation to the water collection quota. After Yammy's turn is done (and I hope I don't lose my mind over his poor spelling), I will introduce these new changes.

Don't worry, Gin, _**you'll love these new changes...**_

Your Lord,

Aizen


	37. Chapter 37

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Gin,

I've finally captured my clone. So yes, Gin, he is going to be the new indescribable horror, because he's much more effective.

I'm naming him Sosuke Aizen.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	38. Chapter 38

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Aizen-sama,

...

Isn't that exactly the same as your name?

Confused,

Gin


	39. Chapter 39

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Gin,

No, it's not the same. Mine is Aizen Sosuke. Completely different.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	40. Chapter 40

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Aizen-sama,

So... His name's 'Aizen'?

Even more confused,

Gin


	41. Chapter 41

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Gin,

No. Is name is Sosuke.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	42. Chapter 42

**Day 8 - Szayelaporro Granz**

Dear Aizen-sama,

GAH! I GIVE UP!

Sjvkwmfownfkwfm,

Gin


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: And so we **_**finally **_**get to Aaroneiro's turn...**

**Day 9 - Aaroneiro Aruruerie**

Dear Aaroneiro Arura... Arruru... You know what? I'll just call you Bob, okay?

I heard Aizen-sama frantically screaming this morning. In the shower. And I know it isn't Sosuke Aizen (not to be confused with Aizen Sosuke, apparently...), because it's seems the only person Sosuke-baka likes Aizen-sama. I guess he's the kind of guy who looks in a mirror and thinks 'that guy's hot'.

Anyway. Yeah, so I doubt it's Sosuke-baka.

...whatever you did, just know that Aizen-sama is in pain right now and is only going to _utterly destroy you. _So there's no need to worry.

Love,

Gin

P.S: Don't ask why Aizen-sama named his clone Sosuke Aizen. Just... don't.


	44. Chapter 44

Daer Gin-smaa,

I dno't konw waht I did wonrg. All I did was crary the wtaer in my rreruscecoin. I tohghut it wluod be fstaer, as I can hlod lots wilhe in rreruscecoin. I probblay got smoe dgitvsiee filuds in the wtaer, tguohh... Opos...

Is Azein-smaa gniog to klil me now?

Umm...

Aaroneiro Aruruerie

**A/N: You have no idea how painful it was to write this. It was like making an anagram puzzle. I had to keep writing the longer words on a sheet to make them easier to reassemble. **

**That... and the fact that Word crashed when I'd nearly finished the letter, so I had to do **_**all **_**the anagram stuff **_**again. **_**DX**


	45. Chapter 45

**Day 9 - Aaroneiro Aruruerie**

Dear Bob,

Yes, Aizen-sama probably _is _going to kill you now.

...

And what's with your literature? You literally just wrote a paragraph of anagrams to me.

Well, at least your not Sousuke-baka. I swear, the only thing he can say is 'Banzai'. Although, for some reason, Aizen-sama seems to be able to understand his new _pet._ He even insisted to me yesterday dinner that he can say full sentences. I don't believe him.

Love,

Gin


	46. Chapter 46

Dear Gin-sama,

Yes, my writing is different. I realised I could have just used the knowledge I gained from Shiba Kaien to write properly. I feel like such an idiot.

Anyway...

How dare you disrespect Aizen-sama and Aizen-sama! I'm going to tell him exactly what you said!

Aaroneiro Aruruerie


	47. Chapter 47

Bob,

No! No! Don't!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gin


	48. Chapter 48

_Gin,_

Just before I go murder Aaroneiro, I want you to tell me why you insulted me and Sosuke.

_**NOW.**_

Or at the very least, apologise to Sosuke.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	49. Chapter 49

Dear Sosuke-sama,

I am sorry. Really, really sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry,

Gin


	50. Chapter 50

Banzai Banzai,

_**BANZAI BANZAI BANZAI BANZAI.**_

Banzai Banzai,

Banzai.


	51. Chapter 51

Dear Aizen-sama,

...What.

Please translate his reply.

Uhh...

Gin


	52. Chapter 52

_Gin,_

Fool. He said,

'Dear Gin,

_**I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN YOU.**_

Your Superior,

Sosuke Aizen'

_**NEITHER HAVE I.**_

_**YOUR LORD,**_

_**AIZEN**_


	53. Chapter 53

**Day 10 - Yammy Llargo **

dear aisen-sama,

ulqiora told me to shoh u mi progres so far.

how is mi riting now, aisen-sama?

yamy


	54. Chapter 54

Dear Yammy,

Your writing is still bad. Period.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	55. Chapter 55

dear aisen-sama,

ulqiora told me to shoh u mi progres so far.

how is mi riting-

_super speed letter interception!_

_**DEAR YAMMY,**_

_**STOP SENDING ME LETTERS, GOD DAMN IT!**_

Your Lord,

Aizen


	56. Chapter 56

Dear Aizen-sama,

I'm naming my shower pipe Stevetastic the MDCCC.

...

Can I have my old job back...?

Love,

Gin

P.S: I hope you're having fun with Sosuke Aizen.

**A/N: In case anyone is confused with what the 'MDCCC' is, it's Roman Numerals. As for why I chose such a ridiculous name. I dunno. It just felt **_**right **_**to give it a horrifyingly complicated and stupid name. **


	57. Chapter 57

_**Gin,**_

...

And you insulted _my _naming skills...

Also, no. You cannot have your job back.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I am indeed having a good time with Sosuke. Right now, I am teaching him Kido. He's learnt 'Bakudo #1: Sai', 'Bakudo #61: Rikujokoro' and 'Hado #91: Senju Koten Taiho'. He's is an exceptional learner. More so than even my expectations. He reminds me of Kurosaki Ichigo in a way. Oh, the things _I could teach _that boy if only he'd realise the unimportance of the current Soul King...

P.P.S: My plan of using the Arrancar War to drastically power up Kurosaki Ichigo will be as close to tutoring him as I will probably ever get. Damn you, Urahara Kisuke. You actually got to _teach _the boy...


	58. Chapter 58

Dear Aizen-sama,

You're rambling about Kurosaki Ichigo again. Please don't. Every time you've brought him up, whether it be in a meeting or simply during lunch, you end up talking about him for 1 hour straight, only stopping for the occasional breather. Seriously. Don't start. I don't want at least 100 letters worth of you rambling about the boy and how you're envious of Urahara Kisuke.

Please, I beg you,

Gin


	59. Chapter 59

Dear Aizen-sama (again?),

Wait.

...

Did you just say that Sosuke learnt 'Hado #91: Senju Koten Taiho'?

…

I'm going to die...

Hehehe...

Gin

**A/N: If I've gotten an Kido numbers wrong, please tell me. I'm pretty sure they're correct, but in case they're not, say so in a review so I can go correct it. I really hate having blatantly obvious mistakes in my story.**


	60. Chapter 60 Sosuke learns Kido

**Omake Title: Gin watches Sosuke learn Kido... and is confused...**

Aizen had invited Gin to watch Sosuke learn Kido, and perform the ones he could use so far. Gin was wary at first, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he decided to come anyway, despite Sosuke obviously disliking him.

At this moment in time, he was on his way to Aizen's private training grounds. Gin noticed that he was shaking slightly. This may just be because he's going to be near Sosuke, or it could be because of what he was thinking of earlier.

'So... Sosuke is learning Kido... and Bakudo. If he learns how to restrain people, then he could possibly... restrain me... and jump on me again...'

He arrived at the training room, and looked around. He'd never actually been here before (it looked suspiciously like Urahara's training room, Gin noted). It was mainly rocks and boulders of different sizes, and a hard, rocky ground.

Gin nearly jumped out of his skin when a massive explosion caused the room to shake violently. He lost his balance, and face-planted onto the solid ground. Due to it being made of rock, it made a massive red mark on his face.

Gin stood back up, dusted off his white hakama, and carefully rubbed his sore face. He sighed, dismissing the painful mark from his thoughts, and walked after the source of the earthquake.

He arrived to see exactly what he was expecting - Sosuke training, and Aizen instructing and offering advice. When he walked just a little closer, Aizen turned around, having noticed Gin's approaching reiatsu.

"Ah, Gin, you came. Good. Now you can watch Sosuke use his best Kido."

Gin looked on curiously, even going so far as to open his eyes slightly, intent on seeing what Kido had caused such a astronomically powerful earthquake.

"Go ahead, Sosuke." Aizen nodded towards his trainee. Sosuke Aizen nodded back, and began chanting. (Gin had not noticed until now, surprisingly enough, but Sosuke was actually wearing clothes. In fact, it was exactly the same as Aizen's outfit, the only difference being a blue sash around his waist instead of a maroon coloured one.)

**"Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai,** **Banzai** **Banzai,** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai.** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai.** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai,** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai Banzai, Banzai Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai** **Banzai Banzai Banzai,** **Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai, Banzai Banzai. Banzai Banzai, Banzai Banzai, Banzai Banzai,** **Banzai Banzai Banzai,** **Banzai Banzai Banzai, Banzai Banzai, Banzai Banzai Banzai. Banzai Banzai Banzai. Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai!"**

A group of violet coloured bullets of energy materialised around Sosuke.

Gin looked at Sosuke incredulously, 'Did he seriously just say the entire incantation of 'Senju Koten Taiho' without saying anything but Banzai?'

**"Banzai Banzai Banzai Banzai: Banzai Banzai Banzai!"**

The violet coloured bullets shot towards a boulder, and blew it up in an incredibly potent explosion. Gin nearly fell over once again, but managed to steady his feet before he ended up doing so.

_TWQ_

**Aizen's POV**

Aizen sighed as Sosuke began the incantation. He had a lot of self control. If he didn't, he probably would have attacked his clone out of frustration over his irritating way of speaking.

"Limit of dem' thousands hands, da' respectful hands, unable to touch dat' darkness. Dem' shooting hands dat are unable ta' reflect dat' blue sky. Dat' road dat' basks n' light, dat' wind dat' ignited dem' embers, dat' time dat' gathers when both o' them are together, thar's no need ta' be hesitant, obey my orders. Dem' Light bullets, dem' eight bodies, dem' nine items, dat' badass book of heaven, dat' diseased treasure, dat' great wheel, dat' grey fortress tower. Gotta' aim far away, so scatta' brightly and cleanly when fired!"

Aizen groaned, and proceeded to rub his temples in frustration. 'Must... not... attack...'

"Hada' Numba' Nighey' One: Senju Koten Taiho!"

After the explosion ahead cleared, Aizen screamed, "I can't take this anymore! Sosuke, you're sparring with me. Go."

"But I don' even have a sword ta' use!"

"I don't care! Your manner of speaking irritates me greatly. I need to vent my anger somewhere..."

Sosuke stared at him with horrified eyes, "Nooooooooooo!"

Gin almost felt sorry for the poor bugger just then. Almost.


	61. Chapter 61

To all subordinates,

Now that Yammy's turn has passed, I shall inform you all of the new adaptations to the Water Quota.

I'll start by saying that the Numeros no longer have to go collect water. Do not celebrate. The only reason I'm doing this is because I fear - after what atrocities were caused by the Espada - that the risks are too great. If an _Espada _has difficulties doing something so simple, I dread to think how badly the Numeros will fail.

Privaron Espada still have water duty. This will never change. Gin and Tousen also still have to go. This will also never change.

Speaking of Gin, he has a new job, seeing as his old job is now taken by Sosuke. His new job is to escort those who are on water duty. He will have to work every night, and is not allowed to torture, ridicule or harm the person on duty.

Lastly, since I feel slightly bad for giving Gin possibly the worst job in existence, I am starting what he has called a 'text week'. I don't know what texting is, but I will allow it. For _one week only, _though.

Your Lord,

Aizen


	62. Chapter 62

Aizen-sama,

gr8! XD this is going to be so much fun!

From: Gin


	63. Chapter 63

_**Gin,**_

...What have I just agreed to...

Your Lord,

Aizen


	64. Chapter 64

Aizen-sama,

you have to use a phone to send msgs to ppl. you know, like those human world teenagers!

From: Gin


	65. Chapter 65

_**Gin,**_

Wait... What...? I have to use... that... for a week now?

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: If fate is real, then it has a very sick sense of humour. It seems I am forever burdened with subordinates who don't care about their literature at all...


	66. Chapter 66

Aizen-sama,

yup! jst rembr to use txt spek!

From: Gin


	67. Chapter 67

_**Gin,**_

No. I will never allow my literature to degrade at the hands of that evil device! _Never!_

…

So no, Gin, I will not be using 'txt spek'…

This was supposed to be a P.S, but obviously writing it in a phone would be strange. Anyway, I _will _be using it, but I will not use any of that horrifying World of the Living slang. Those humans have degraded Japanese so much so that I can hardly understand what they are talking about sometimes. Embarrassingly enough, I sometimes don't understand what Kurosaki Ichigo is talking about… that is… whenever I'm watching him… um…

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	68. Chapter 68

aizen-sama,

way to go and make a msg creepy, aizen-sama…

From: Gin


	69. Chapter 69

**Day 11 - Dordonni Alessandro Del Socaccio (A/N: Dear God... I had to look this one up on the internet...)**

aizen-sama,

im trd. i only got 1 hr sleep last nit. also dordonni tok 4ever cuz he kpt dancin on ta way take cllct ta wtr.

From: Gin


	70. Chapter 70

_**GIN,**_

Please. Stop. Butchering. Words.

Your grammar and spelling is killing me inside.

I don't care if Dordonni was dancing. It isn't treason for him to enjoy himself.

Also, I don't care if you're tired.

Also, you being too tired isn't part of my master plan...

Also, I'm using reverse psychology. But now that I said I'm using reverse psychology, does that really mean I'm using reverse psychology?

...that's something for you to think about, Gin.

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	71. Chapter 71

Aizen-sama,

I loved water duty!

From: Dordonni


	72. Chapter 72

Dordonni,

That's nice.

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	73. Chapter 73

Aizen-sama,

I got to stretch my muscles for once!

From: Dordonni


	74. Chapter 74

Dordonni,

...okay...

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	75. Chapter 75

Aizen-sama,

It's been so boring since I became a Privaron Espada!

From: Dordonni


	76. Chapter 76

Dordonni,

OKAY OKAY I GET IT!

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	77. Chapter 77

**Day 12 - Ciruicci Thunderwitch**

aizen-sama,

ciruicci was rly borin. whnvr i tried to mke a convrsashn wiv her, she jst tosed her yo-yo zanpakuto thingy at me.

she's no fun at all.

From: Gin


	78. Chapter 78

_**GIN,**_

Mm. She's a very practical person. None of that stupid nonsense the other Espada seem to possess.

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	79. Chapter 79

aizen-sama,

that's nt wat i ment...

From: Gin

**A/N: Sorry, today's chapters are very lame. I just needed to get Ciruicci out of the way. We'll have Gantenbainne tomorrow.**


	80. Chapter 80

**A/N: I have reached over 100 reviews, and over 15,000 views! I'd like to thank all the people who have followed, favourites or reviewed! You're all awesome! **

**Day 13 - Gantenbainne Mosqueda**

gantenbaine,

STOP. DANCING. ARGH! *twitches*

From: Gin


	81. Chapter 81

aizen-sammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaa...

From: Gin


	82. Chapter 82

Gin,

What? What do you want now?

From: Your Lord, Aizen


	83. Chapter 83

aizen-sama,

gantenbainne won't stop dancing. he keeps moon-walking.

From: Gin


	84. Chapter 84

Gin,

I don't care that you're jealous of Gantenbainne's impressive moon-walk. Now stop waking me up at 2 in the morning just to text me during water duty.

From: A disgruntled Aizen


	85. Chapter 85

Urgent message to all arrancar,

Your Lord and Ruler, Aizen-sama, is drunk. I don't know how it happened (I have a sneaking suspicion it was Sosuke's fault...), but as your second-in-command... I will sleeping for the rest of the day. For I haven't had a decent night's sleep in days.

Anyway, I have no idea what Aizen-sama is like drunk. Sosuke came into my room, shouted a ton of 'Banzai's' and dragged me to Aizen-sama. That's when I found out the man was drunk. Be on your guard. If he's usually an out-of-control violent psychopath when he hasn't had any tea in a while, then I dread to imagine what he's like drunk.

Your tired second-in-command,

Gin

P.S: Basically, I'm leaving the rampaging Aizen-sama to you guys. I'm gonna sleep...


	86. Chapter 86

Notice to all arrancar,

I'm revoking the silly texting. It's probably driving Aizen-sama up the wall, and it's actually harder to write in 'txt spek'. So... yeah...

N'night,

Gin


	87. Chapter 87

Dear anyone...

Why the heck is Las Noches covered in rainbows?

What. The. Hell.

Nnoitra


	88. Chapter 88

Dear Nnoitra,

You know, you didn't have to send that letter to everyone in Las Noches...

Also, I believe the rainbows you are seeing are illusions. It is probably Aizen-sama doing this...

Tousen Kaname


	89. Chapter 89

Tousen...-sama,

...the heck? Why is Aizen...-sama covering Las Noches in flipping rainbows?

Nnoitra


	90. Chapter 90

Nnoitra Gilga,

Oh. You do not seem very well informed. Very well. Justice demands I tell what has happened.

... Aizen-sama is... drunk...

Tousen Kaname

P.S: Ichimaru thinks it was Sosuke. I don't think so. I inspected Aizen-sama's room earlier (he was nowhere in sight...). His tea cup had been spiked, it seems, and the reiatsu lingering on the cup definitely did not belong to Sosuke... In fact, it felt suspiciously like... no, it doesn't matter...


	91. Chapter 91

Tousen-sama...

I've found Aizen-sama...

Grimmjow

P.S: Please. Please send help. He's... He's scary...


	92. Chapter 92

Grimmjow,

What is he doing, exactly?

Tousen Kaname

P.S: Also, where is he? I wish to see him myself.


	93. Chapter 93

Tousen-sama,

Her, you know you're blind, right?

...

Anyway...

Aizen-sama's chasing me around in the hallways, while waving his zanpakuto dangerously around his head. He keeps shouting '_**COME HERE, GRIMMJOW'**_. Please help. He's... scary... I dunno how he did it, but his voice suddenly got really creepy.

I managed to hide away long enough to reply to your letter, but I think it won't be long before he finds me again.

...

He also keeps rainbow-ifying the walls of Las Noches, which I feel kind of ironic, considering he's being incredibly creepy right now... I don't even... I don't even want to know what happens if he catches me...

Ah- Oh damn. I think he's coming.

listenjusthurryupandcomesoonokaypleasepleaseplease pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseoh godthatsdefinitelynotarainbowthatlookslikeabloodst ainohgodthewalliscoveredinbloodstainshelphelphelph elptheresblooddrippingdownthewallohgodisthatoozeco mingoutofthewallsnonononononononononononononononoh elpmehelpmehelpmegrimmjow


	94. Chapter 94

Dear Nnoitra,

Before I go save Grimmjow from possibly the scariest being alive, I just want to say...

I think he's gone insane...

Also, he questioned my blindness. How stupid. Isn't it obvious that I am blind?


	95. Not Really a Chapter but Sort-Of is

The Water Quota Answer Thing-y

Yeah, so someone asked who delivers the letters...

Wonderweiss!

No, not really...

They actually use e-mail, so... yeah. It explains how they manage to fit so many letters in a day sometimes *cough*Szayel's turn*cough*.

I actually had no idea before, either. Eventually I decided it made more sense if they were sent via computer, since it's faster. It also means that when a character writes a bunch of random letters (ajdndifbwjfnwkdns), it's because they've taken all their anger out on their keyboard, typed a load of random letters to cool off.

Although, Gin probably hit it with Stevetastic the MDCCC.


	96. Chapter 95

Dear Tousen...-sama,

I just heard a scream. You think that's Grimmjow?

Nnoitra

P.S: Heh, he has a really girly scream...


	97. Chapter 96

Nnoitra,

Who else would it be?

Tousen Kaname


	98. Chapter 97

**A/N: If a character is thinking and the words are all squished together, it basically means they're mentally unstable.**

"In the name of the path with the least bloodshed!"

"Banzai!"

Grimmjow could hear his ragged breathing as he heard the Aizen's footsteps gradually come closer. From what he could tell - Aizen was moving at a sedate pace, enjoying Grimmjow's fear.

_omgomgomgomgomgohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod ohmygod_

He heard the door to the room he was in slowly creak open. He bit his lip.

_damnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnit_

_**"...GRIMMJ-"**_

"Banzaaaaaiiiiiii!"

_**"Wha-"**_

"_IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!"_

Grimmjow blinked. Sousuke had blasted a hole through the wall, and had then jumped on Aizen straight after. Tousen had then blasted jumped through the room window, and did a doggypile on top of Sosuke, starfish-style.

_Either they've gone insane or I have..._

"Aizen-sama! I will free you from the evil that is intoxication!" After a moment's pause, Tousen recalled what he just said, "... no offense to Zommari..."

Grimmjow blinked again.

_We're all probably insane by this point..._

**A/N:... What did I just write? Oh well. It was creepy up until the point Sosuke appeared, and all seriousness dissolved after Tousen starfish tackled Aizen...**


	99. Chapter 98

Dear Gin,

Get up. I have restrained Aizen-sama, and I suspect I know who spiked his tea.

Tousen Kaname

P.S: It isn't Sosuke. I don't even know how he managed to get in, but now I know we have a security breach. Aizen-sama is going to be furious, especially since the man thinks he can do something as silly as spiking people's tea in enemy territory.

P.P.S: With this letter is an encrypted note on who did it. I don't know why I put it in a separate note, or even encrypted it, but it... felt like I had to...

[Note]

..- .-. .- ... .- .-. .- / -.- .. ... ..- -.- .

**A/N: Apologies for the slightly incorrect Morse code. For some stupid reason, the doc manager won't allow me to change the '...' to four dots, not three. How annoying.**


	100. Chapter 99

Kaname,

Damn it, Kaname! I don't know Morse Code! We don't learn it in Seireitei!

Gin

P.S: Wait... why did you bother learning Morse Code? No one else knows it besides Aizen-sama maybe.


	101. Chapter 100

Gin,

For goodness sake. How am I supposed to tell you who it was now?

Kaname


	102. Chapter 101

Kaname,

... the same way any normal person would?

Gin


	103. Chapter 102

No, Gin.

Kaname


	104. Chapter 103

Kaname,

What!? That's it? Your not even going to explain _why _you can't just tell me?

Gin


	105. Chapter 104

No, Gin.

Kaname


	106. Chapter 105

Kaname.

...

... you know what? Screw logic! Who needs that stuff anyway?

Gin


	107. Chapter 106

_**GIN,**_

What... What happened? Kaname told me that I had just awoken from unconsciousness. Though he didn't explain _why _I was unconscious...

Your Lord,

Aizen


	108. Chapter 107

Dear Aizen-sama,

You should probably ask Kaname how it happened. I hardly know anything...

... stupid Kaname and his stupid Morse code...

Gin


	109. Chapter 108

Kaname,

According to Gin, you know what happened Yesterday. Please. Do tell.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: Why would you even bother learning Morse code? No one here uses it.


	110. Chapter 109

Aizen-sama,

Ah... well... you see... it sort of happened because of...

Aizen-sama. You were drunk. Someone spiked your tea. The person spiked it wasn't one if your subordinates. The man was... was...

I'm scared of telling you.

Kaname


	111. Chapter 110

_Kaname,_

Oh for goodness sake. Stop procrastinating and just tell me. There's no need to worry... I, uh, promise not to get mad...

Your Lord,

Aizen


	112. Chapter 111

Aizen-sama,

It was Urahara Kisuke...

Kaname...


	113. Chapter 112

_**Kaname,**_

_**WHAT.**_

Aizen.

P.S: Actually, _**Kaname**_, there is need to worry. Be very, very worried.


	114. Chapter 113

_Aizen-Chan~_

Did you like my tea? It's my own special blend! Yoruichi loves the stuff! (In fact, she says it's the only good cup of tea I make, and that's because I filled it with alcohol...)

Anyway...

Have you ever been drunk before? Probably not. So what was it like? Did you throw a rampage on Grimmjow again? Poor sod was terrified. Hid in a corner. I recorded you being drunk! Would you like a copy? I'm going to distribute more copies throughout Seireitei soon!

But. Enough of that. You've probably noticed by now. I have control of your security cameras, and your computer's. Heck, I could even hack into your shower, since you seem to love controlling everything in Las Noches in your free time. You little stalker, controlling someone's shower? Having cameras installed in your subordinates' rooms?

Also, please stop stalking Ichigo. It's bordering on horrifying, seeing as a camera fly is watching him _all the time. _He's not one of your subordinates.

Yours truly,

Urahara Kisuke

P.S: I hacked into your little network and you didn't even know it. Some self-proclaimed omnipotent evil mastermind you are.


	115. Chapter 114

_**URAHARA KISUKE,**_

_**WHERE ARE YOU!? TELL ME!**_

_**Don't underestimate me, Urahara Kisuke. I will find you.**_

_**RIVWBGIDBWOCGQGWSKCNVOSNDKANCKWBFJWBCKWBCIWBFISNCI WBDJWBDJWBF,**_

_**... Aizen**_

_**P.S: No, I will not leave Ichigo-kun alone. I'm helping him.**_


	116. Chapter 115

Calm, Aizen-san.

Where am I? Yes, that's a good question. But the real question is: Where am I not?

Really. Did you think I would tell you where I am hiding? I'll give you a clue, since I'm awesome like that:

I'm not everywhere.

There we go. That should have narrowed down your search to a few million or so places.

Shouldn't be hard to figure out for a self-proclaimed omnipotent evil mastermind ruler such as yourself, right?

Your truly,

Urahara Kisuke

P.S: How is staring intently at your monitor screen as Ichigo sits in school 'helping'? It's not helping your eyesight, that's for sure.

P.P.S: Yes. I do know about that. I know a lot of things. I know that you had a shower in pee-pee once. And I know that you have a chavy clone of yourself named Sosuke Aizen. Yes, I even know that he doesn't just say 'Banzai' all the time. I researched his speech, and have managed to completely translate his sentences from 'Banzai' to 'What yo think yo doin', yo?'.

Your only pet and only friend (the relationship is probably one-sided , anyway... Sosuke probably just tolerates you) is truly remarkable. He is a masterful reflection of your true smarts and amazing literature. He is a master of imitation, just like you. Look! He imitates World of the Living teenagers down to a T! That is... if it's actually him acting. It would be a shame if a reflection of yourself was truly like that. It would leave a permanent mark in your arrancar's heads. 'Aizen-sama's clone is a psychopathic man who enjoys shouting 'Banzai' very thoroughly. Was this what _he _was like during his teen years?'


	117. Chapter 116

_**Urahara. Kisuke.**_

_**I... I...**_

_**DAMN YOU! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME TO SUCH A DEGREE, FOOL!**_

_**Aizen.**_


	118. Chapter 117

Aizen-san.

The only fool here is you, Aizen-san. Only a fool would make a network that controls Las Noches in it's entirety and not place some kind of defence to prevent exploitation from an outside source.

Do you know? I'm watching you through the camera in your wall. The one you so helpfully installed to keep out intruders. Ironic how the intruder is the one controlling it.

I can see you raging. I can see you constantly re-reading my letters, in an attempt at understanding my clues. The fact that you haven't figured out that my clues are useless by now means that I've probably _over-estimated _you, not under-estimated. How unfortunate.

For you, at least.

Yours Truly,

Urahara Kisuke

P.S: Just to let you know. I am not held responsible for the keyboard you just smashed against the wall. You'll have to get a new one yourself.


	119. Chapter 118

Aizen-san,

I suggest you give back Inoue Orihime. It wasn't very nice of you to take her without giving her any warning first.

Your Truly,

Urahara Kisuke


	120. Chapter 119

_**Urahara,**_

I have her? Oh... well... that's convenient...

Your Lo-

Oh.

Aizen.

P.S: I totally planned that.


	121. Chapter 120

Real smooth, Aizen-san.

Your Truly,

Urahara Kisuke

P.S: Kurosaki-san isn't very happy. Expect visitors within the next 24 hours.


	122. Chapter 121

_**Urahara,**_

Ichigo-kun is coming to Hueco Mundo? _**Yessssssssss-**_

Uh. I mean... Oh no!

Your Lo-

Damn it.

Aizen.


	123. Chapter 122

Aizen-san

Smooth.

Your Truly,

Urahara Kisuke

P.S: I think I'm going to regret sending Ichigo to Hueco Mundo...

P.P.S: Why do you greet me so hostilely? I don't greet you hostilely, and you got me banished. Whatever _I _have done is insignificant compared to what you did.


	124. Chapter 123

Fine. Urahara Kisuke.

Don't patronize me.

Your-

_**DAMNNNN IIIITTTTT.**_

Aizen.

P.S: Don't worry. I still greet Gin more hostilely than you.


	125. Chapter 124

Aizen-san,

I posted you being drunk on YouTube.

Yours Truly,

Urahara Kisuke


	126. Chapter 125

Urahara Kisuke.

You-what?

What in the actual heck is YouTube?

Your-

...

Aizen.


	127. Chapter 126

Aizen-san,

YouTube. It's a social website on the World of the Living internet, that allows you to post videos for others to see.

So. I sent a link to the shinigami. I even wrote down their comments:

Sui-Feng: This is the only time I will like something you have done, Urahara.

Komamura: Has Tousen seen this yet?

Me: Komamura He was there...

Komamura: Urahara Oh...

Hot man Yama: Lol!1111!

Yours Truly,

Urahara Kisuke


	128. Chapter 127

Urahara-san,

My God. Yamamoto is... interesting behind closed doors...

Dat' guy ya' hacked,

Aizen

P.S: DAMN IT SOSUKE GET OFF MY LETTER


	129. Chapter 128

Urahara-san,

Kurosaki has been captured. I remember exactly what happened.

_-Super Ishida Flashback!-_

Ichigo, and his friends Ishida, Sado, Rukia and Renji had loudly cruised into the Throne Room, much to Ishida's despair.

"Give back Orihime, Aizen!" Ichigo shouted, pointing Zangetsu at the traitor, who was stood on the opposite end of the room, simply smiling.

"In all honesty; I wasn't even aware of what I did while I was d- when I had my... episode... So I had no idea that she was even here until Urahara told me."

Before Ichigo could react, Aizen had a grip on his right arm, and the smile on his face seemed to intensify. "But that doesn't matter. You're coming with me, Ichigo-kun."

"Wha-"

Aizen shunpoed away, Ichigo in tow, and the rest of his friends were left stood still, not really getting what just happened.

Ishida regained his composure first, "If I'm not mistaken... we came here to rescue Orihime, but at the same time led Kurosaki to Aizen... Is anyone else getting the impression that we've made a really big mistake?"

Renji - still shocked - spoke up, "Shi-"

_-Super Ishida Flashback!-_

So. Now what do we do? Although I hate to admit it, Kurosaki was our best chance of rescuing Orihime, and now we've literally handed him to Aizen.

Ishida Uryu


	130. Chapter 129

Dear Ishida-san,

Oh. Oh dear. Oh. God.

I have the security camera in Aizen's room on monitor, and Aizen is... is...

I can hardly bear to tell you.

My eyes,

Urahara Kisuke


	131. Chapter 130

Urahara-san,

What!? What is that sick man doing to Kurosaki!? Torturing him?

Ishida Uryu


	132. Chapter 131

Ishida-san...

He's... he's...

Having a friendly conversation with him.

Urahara Kisuke


	133. Chapter 132

Urahara-san,

... are you kidding me?

You made it sound like it was something horrifying...

Ishida Uryu


	134. Chapter 133

Ishida-san,

What do you mean?

This is _Aizen _we're talking about.

A friendly conversation to him is a game of 'How long will it take to destroy this person's perception of life?'. And Aizen knows a fair share of secrets about Ichigo not even Ichigo himself knows...

You catching on yet?

Urahara Kisuke


	135. Chapter 134

Urahara-san...

Uh oh...

Ishida Uryu


	136. Chapter 135

Ishida-san,

You'll never guess what Aizen told Ichigo just now...

Urahara Kisuke


	137. Chapter 136

Urahara-san,

Well. Judging from the screaming, I reckon it Aizen has told him something terrible. Very, very terrible, it seems.

Ishida Uryu


	138. Chapter 137

Ishida!

_No. Flipping. Way._

Why did no one ever tell me!?

Apparently I've been drinking juice boxes with the straw facing towards the carton instead of away!

I've been drinking them weirdly this entire time!

Gobsmacked,

Kurosaki Ichigo


	139. Chapter 138

Kurosaki,

S-sure...

We didn't tell you because who on Earth notices whether you were drinking from the straw away from the carton or towards the carton!?

If you get freaked out over something like this, then I'd hate to see what happens when - not if, when - Aizen decides to tell you something serious...

Ishida Uryu


	140. Chapter 139

_**GIN,**_

I feel like I've forgotten something...

Your Lord,

Aizen


	141. Chapter 140

Dear Aizen-sama,

Yeah... me too...

Gin


	142. Chapter 141

Um... Aizen?

Why do you always grumble incoherently when writing to Gin? I... haven't even seen you write to Urahara like that...

And why do you always make the beginning of the letter so hostile?

"_**GIN.**_"

What the heck? I thought he was your second-in-command, or something...

Why are you giving me that weird look?

Kurosaki Ichigo


	143. Chapter 142

Ichigo-kun,

I'm giving you that weird look because you just passed me a full-out letter even though I'm standing right next to you.

Your-

Uh, no...

Aizen


	144. Chapter 143

B-but... Aizen...

You just wrote one back to me, even though you could have told me personally just then...

You're kind of... contradicting yourself...

Kurosaki Ichigo

P.S: It's weird... Why do I feel compelled to keep sending these letters when I can just tell you personally...


	145. Chapter 144

Ichigo-kun,

You're... right...

So many times, I could have told someone personally... and I wrote a letter instead!?

It's as though some... thing... is compelling me to write to you like this...

Sometimes, I say unnecessary things in a letter, such as emphasis for when I'm angry, and actual stuttering... in a letter...

In fact, everyone in Las Noches does it... now that I think about it.

... Even now! I'm using these unnecessary silences between words despite it being simpler and smarter just to write normally...

Your Lord,

Aizen

**A/N: Hehehe... sorry for not posting yesterday. In all honesty, I was being lazy. Yesterday, I had started watching the anime 'Death Note', and I got really into it... and ended up watching non-stop till 4am. Yikes, even for me, that's way too late. **

**Anyway, I've already finished watching all the episodes (it's amazing how many episodes one can get through when they get into an anime), so no more obsessive-almost-all-nighters-and-skipping-posting -chapters-for-my-story-because-I-was-really-lazy moments.**


	146. Chapter 145

_**GIN,**_

... I suspect there is something manipulating us in Las Noches. Have you noticed, when we write letters, we don't write as in the usual letter way... instead, we write as though we're literally talking to each other.

Speaking of talking to each other (did I just make a pun? It doesn't matter... wait, why was it necessary to write that? And this, for that matter... argh!), we also seem to choose to write letters even if it was easier just to tell them in person. This was proven when Kurosaki Ichigo gave me a letter when _I was standing right next to him._

This shows that he too is now affected by this strangeness, and that it isn't just us going insane (or maybe, whatever is causing this is making us insane in the first place, causing us to act so strange... No! I must shelter Ichigo-kun if this is true. Something tells me he would be even scarier than me drunk if he was insane...)

If this is true, then I must try and exterminate it. I fear that it knows I am writing this letter and is probably mocking me. It may even be _controlling _what I write, and is seeing my efforts at warning you as laughable.

Your Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I still feel like I'm forgetting something...


	147. Chapter 146

Aizen-sama,

...

Why did I hear you screaming just now? And Ichigo-kun too?

Gin

P.S: Oh. My. God. So, you're saying some evil master manipulator is controlling everything that we do? Maybe Urahara is- no... no... not even he can do something so... horrifying. But... maybe it was his Bankai? No, I doubt Urahara would expose his Bankai for something as little as this...

P.P.S: Wait... I just had an argument with myself in a letter. Looks like your theory is pretty solid, Aizen-sama...

P.P.P.S: Also, Ichigo-kun being insane gives me chills. Seriously, he's creepy enough already (why do you think I refused to see him earlier when you offered?). I dunno, something about that kid just rubs me the wrong way. He says he just wants to protect his family and friends, but I'm still not convinced...


	148. Chapter 147

_**GIN,**_

I-I...

I will never speak if this subject again.

Your (incredibly distressed) Lord,

Aizen

P.S: I am very fearful to say that poor Ichigo-kun's sanity may not escape this situation unscathed... in fact, mine may not be up-to-par either now...


	149. Chapter 148

_Aizen-sama..._

What happened? If it made _you _scream in fear, then I'm really curious to see what it was...

Gin


	150. Chapter 149

Gin...

No. I will not tell you.

Your Lord

Aizen

P.S: Just forget this ever happened, okay? I remembered what I was forgetting earlier. You're supposed to be on water duty today.


	151. Chapter 150

Dear Ishida,

I was watching through the camera installed in Aizen's room. If Kurosaki-san attempts to tell you what happened in there, deny him the chance and stop him. You _don't _want to know.

Damn it, I knew Aizen would try to say something that would change Kurosaki-san's perception of life forever, but this is... ridiculous...

Urahara Kisuke

**A/N: It seems I am really taking the 'Drama' part of the story to whole new levels... well, when compared to past chapters, where Humor has played the dominant role...**


	152. Chapter 151

**A/N: Just a fair warning here, this omake may contain no small amount of crack. The reason for Ichigo and Aizen freaking out a couple chapters ago isn't as serious as you may believe... (Well... it depends how you look at it...)**

Ichigo sat in a corner, assuming the fetal position.

_How...? How...? How...?_

The question kept repeating in his head, like a broken record.

Meanwhile, Aizen eyed Ichigo with a small amount of concern, _He doesn't look very healthy..._

"_Aizen-sama~!" _Gin shouted cheerfully, as he slipped into his room, not noticing Ichigo. "What happened he-"

Then he saw it.

"_What __**is **__that?" _He screamed, pointing his index finger at the source of the problem.

"That, Gin, is a broken wall."

"A _wall!?"_

"A wall."

Ichimaru eyes were wide open, a horrified frown on his face. "B-but..."

"It also seems I broke a hole in reason itself..." Aizen continued slowly, remembering what exactly had happened.

_-Flashback-_

"Aizen! What are _you _doing _now?" _Ichigo snarled, having regained some of his confidence after Aizen had decided to drop the 'juice box' bomb on him.

"I am trying to discover what the presence is."

Kurosaki blinked slowly, "How are you supposed to do _that?"_

The traitor turned to him, smiling, "I will trick it. Using Kyoka Suigetsu. If I can force it to believing that I am not there, perhaps it will not affect me."

Before Ichigo could comment on how thought it was a rubbish idea, Aizen performed his release.

"Shatter,"

_Oh damn it! _Ichigo cursed in his head.

"Kyoka Suigetsu."

_-Flashback End-_

Next thing he knew, there was hole in space, time, and possibly reason itself.

_I knew that my zanpakuto release was 'Shatter', but I didn't want or expect it to maim the dimensional fabric. Now I have a floating crack in my room. Lovely._

Gin groaned, "I don't know what that is, but it looks dangerous. Probably want to close that up..."

Ichigo growled in the corner, and Aizen cast him a slightly fearful glance. Gin, not having noticed Ichigo up until now, turned around and whimpered.

"So, should we ru-"

_**"YOU BROKE THE FOURTH WALL! YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE. THE FOURTH. WALL! EVERYTHING IS A LIE!"**_

Aizen slowly backed away, "Yes, Gin, we should run. Very, very quickly. Let's leave Ichigo to his friends. They'll find him eventually... if he doesn't find them first..."

They edged towards the door, and slipped through, shutting it as softly as they could behind them as to not provoke Ichigo, and then continued by sprinting for their dear lives.

-_Paragraph-_

Urahara sighed, and rubbed his temples.

"Bad. This is very bad."

He tapped a secret button on his secret desk in a secret location, and secretly talked into a secret microphone.

"Ishida?"

"Urahara? We're almost at the location you- wait... did Aizen and Ichimaru just Sprint past us?"

"Do. Not. Approach. Kurosaki-san."

He could literally hear the impatient frown on his face, "Oh? Why?"

"Look; just don't."

**A/N: (Another one?) The weirdness may have been because I had a combination between coffee and sugary things today. I'm surprised I'm not bouncing off the walls by now...**


End file.
